Comparing Women Of The Baltics: Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania

A lot of people ask me which Baltic country is best for a visit. If you’re like me, you’d think that all three countries are similar, but after my nearly four months in the region I noticed a surprising amount of variation between them. Of course I’m not talking about architecture or food—my main field of study was the women. Here’s a breakdown of how they stack up…

BODY

Estonian women have some curves and boobs while Lithuanian women have boyish bodies that are Asian like (I was grossly disappointed with the Lithuanian ass). Latvia is somewhere in between. The biggest problem with Estonia is that they have a growing obesity problem. If all Estonian women were thin, they’d win by a mile, but for now they only get a slide edge over Lithuania thanks to their more juicy curvature.

First place: Estonia

FACE

Estonian women shine yet again, with wonderful cheekbones and bright blue eyes (well over 50% of the Estonian population have light eyes), but I have to give top prize to Lithuanian women. Their faces reminded me of Argentina in the amount of cosmic beauty they contained. Some of the most beautiful women in the world I’ve seen have been from Lithuania.

First place: Lithuania

HAIR

Latvian women do better than Estonian women, who have adopted some of the Scandinavian style of head shaving (Finland is just a ferry ride away). Lithuanian women, however, have extraordinary long hair. It is common to see girls with hair going down to their pancake asses and sometimes passed that. It doesn’t make sense why hair would be boner inducing, but it is. I told many a Lithuanian girl that I wanted to make sweet love to their blonde locks. A couple of them let me extract a specimen for personal use.

First place: Lithuania

PERSONALITY

Estonian girls are plain fun because they love to drink. They also like talking in English and can hold their own in a conversation with an experienced man. Latvian girls are the worst: they are too guarded and take forever to open up, probably because they assume every foreign guy is a sex tourist thanks to Riga being the capital of Eastern Europe for that sort of thing. Lithuanian girls can be hit or miss, but generally I find them to be shy and detached.

First place: Estonia

ENGLISH LEVEL

Estonian girls have the strongest English while Lithuanian girls have the weakest. Latvian girls speak fine English but you may have some issues with the Russian girls in Latvia who may not speak it. I had moderate problems finding fluent English in Lithuania.

First place: Estonia

EASE OF BANGING

In Estonia I didn’t get any one-night stands, but by the first or second date I was straight. In Lithuania I got a couple but the quality was a bit lower, so it’s hard to say which is “easier.” I think if you’re prepared to go on two dates, both Estonia and Lithuania will be similar, with Lithuania a slight edge if your standards aren’t too high. Latvia was significantly harder for me than the other two.

First place: Lithuania (but for 6s and below)

FUN FACTOR

The only place I actually enjoyed going out in was Estonia. Lithuanian clubs were too cheesy for me and Latvia was scam-artist central. Estonia also has more of a pub/bar scene for when you get tired of the clubs, which you will.

First place: Estonia

OVERALL

The choice is easy: Estonia. If I had to go back to only one country, it would be there, but I’m reluctant to do so because of the increasing amount of sex tourists from Finland and Britain and also the rising obesity problem—and with that—fattitude. Some rude responses I got from Estonian girls made me think I was in America. My guess is that you have about one or two years until the place turns to total shit and it’s not even worth a weekend visit. It’s not quite poosy paradise.

Lithuania has tons of beautiful women (I’d give them a slight edge over Estonian girls with overall appearance), but it’s quite hard to pull quality. It’s the type of place you have to stay for a couple months to really be able to tap the higher talent pools. In Estonia, because the girls like foreign guys, you may be able to get something special from a shorter stay.

If you want to read more detailed reports I made of these three countries, click the following links:

When it comes to comparing Poland to the Baltics, I can tell you that the Baltics have prettier girls, but Polish women have less attitude and are a tad more sexual. If the whole point of your trip is to go for “hotties,” then the Baltics are a better bet. But if you just want a cute-girl-next-door type of deal, then Poland.

If you liked the above article then you’ll enjoy Bang Lithuania, my 39-page guide that teaches you how to date Lithuanian women during a visit to the country. It contains tourist tips, game advice, and sex stories that give you all the information you need to have sex with Lithuanian women. Click here to learn more. Two other guides you may be interested in is Bang Estonia and Don’t Bang Latvia.

Ten things to know before dating an Argentine

Ten things to know before dating an Argentine

Dating in Argentina is very different from the UK. Planning on taking the plunge? Here are 10 things you need to know…

1. A date isn’t a date until it happens

Argentines struggle to arrange dates or as my Argentine friend, Max Gigena, puts it: “Our country is so unstable, that it’s difficult for us to make plans. We know that whatever we aim for will ultimately fail.”

I call it flakiness but regardless, I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been invited out, only to see said dates fail to materialise. Acceptable cancellation excuses include a Boca Juniors (Argentina’s favourite football team) defeat.

2. Dates start late

Back home in Britain if a date asked to meet at midnight, I’d assume it was a booty call. However in Argentina, a late-night rendezvous doesn’t (necessarily) signify sex. Dinner here is rarely eaten before 10pm – at the earliest – after which Argentines will head to a bar, before hitting a boliche (club) around 3am.

No matter what sort of date you’ve got planned, arrive fashionably late: Argentines aren’t big on punctuality.

3. Argentine men could charm the birds from the trees

Chivalry is alive and well in Argentina. Expect your date to open doors, pay for dinner and shower you – in smooth Castellano – with compliments. Get used to being called mi corazón (my heart) and hermosa (beautiful).

Sure, chances are the chamuyero (charmer) will have uttered the same sentiments to at least three other women that week, but Argentines certainly know how to make you feel special.

4. Don’t mention the war

At some point, the thorny issue of the Falklands War will raise its head. Despite the fact that this 10 week conflict took place more than 30 years ago, there’s still an incredible amount of anger and sadness surrounding Las Malvinas, as they are known here.

When asked for your stance on whether the islands should be returned to Argentina, simply shake your head sympathetically – if you want a second date – and say that it’s a difficult situation …

5. PDAs are the norm

Argentines are passionate people and have no qualms about smooching in public. Couples of all ages will happily lock lips in bars, at bus stops… you get the gist.

Be prepared to abandon your British stiff upper lip and pucker up in public – or risk being called “cold.”

6. Factor in telo time

Ready to take your relationship to the next level? If your Argentine lover lives at home (most don’t leave until they marry), you’ll be checking into a telo. These popular pay-by-the-hour hotels are where couples go to do the horizontal tango and can be found in every barrio (neighbourhood). It may sound sleazy but let’s face facts: it beats making out in a McDonald’s car park.

7. Romance is a roller coaster

So you’re officially in a relationship and calling each other other novio (boyfriend) and novia (girlfriend). It’s smooth sailing from here on in, right? Wrong. Argentines adore drama, so you’ll need to develop the patience of a saint if your relationship is to succeed.

Argentines have an uncanny ability to create mountains out of molehills, or as my friend Brittany White, a 38-year-old American dating an Argentine, frequently bemoans: “Half the time, I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.”

8. Family comes first

Argentines are devoted to their families and Sunday asados (barbecues) with the padres are a sacred ritual. Spending time with the family isn’t restricted solely to Sundays, either. Case in point? Christian Bravo, a 45-year-old Argentine based in Buenos Aires, will happily abandon his American fiancee and board a 16 hour bus to Tucumán every fortnight so as to see his family. “I love my family,” counters Christian. All of which will make you feel more than a little guilty, for being so slack at Skyping your own folks.

9. You’ll forgivean Argentine for anything

“Try to control me boy, you get dismissed.” So sang Destiny’s Child in their hit song, Independent Women. The problem is Argentines are so ridiculously good looking that, after a glass of Malbec, even the most independent woman will find themselves forgiving their Argentine amour for their flakiness, hysterics and chronic lateness.

10. Dating an Argentine is never dull

Argentines are lovers of life (Argentina has more paid national holidays, than any other country on the planet) and their enthusiasm for everything – from family to food, football and politics – is infectious. Just ask Joanna Farmer, a 37-year-old Brit who swapped her Swiss beau for a Latin lover last year. “Looking back, there were just too many mundane moments in my past relationships,” reflects Joanna.

Bottom line? After dating a flamboyant Argentine, anyone else will seem bland by comparison.